sophomore year

slept in a van at the beach
first time in Boston
silly late night stuff with bree
no sleep
new friends
more in love with the old
reunited with an old, old, old friend
first time in Florida, and on a yacht
discovered dexter and californication
switched my major
got a really awesome boyfriend
reached a bucket list goal: to go Ireland
also England and Wales ( could write a novel)
4 weddings in 5 months
feeling closer to kerri than ever
several new jobs, while keeping the old
First time in Pittsburgh
finally feeling like a good student

this was a great year.

all time favorite songs

these are my top 20 songs of all time. since i've learned to love music these are the ones that have stayed.

1. Harvey danger- Private Helicopter
2. INXS- Beautiful Girl
3. Neil Young- Harvest Moon
4. Rival Schools- Good things
5. Ash- Burn Baby Burn
6. Mazzy Star- Bells Ring
7. Modest Mouse- The View
8. Violent Femmes- Blister in the Sun
9. Peter Bjorn & John- Paris 2004
10. Pinback- loro
11. Talking Heads- And she was
12. Saves the Day- A Drag in D Flat
13. Drama Rama- Anything
14. Pete Yorn- For Nancy
15. Polaris- Hey Sandy
16. Alkaline Trio- Goodbye Forever
17. Bright Eyes- First Day of my Life
18. The Appleseed Cast- Fishing the Sky
19. Shout Out Louds- Normandie
20. The Cure- Mint Car

summer shouldnt have to end

"that's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too."

summer was something else. i feel like it was off to a dull start with doing routine things and hanging out for the sake of hanging out. i really think august was the most pivotal month of my life. i finally went out of the country. i even got to see the sunrise in paris. i even learned how to appreciate here more. one of the greatest moments for me was the top of this mountain. i could see all of Barcelona. one of the worst moments for me was having my credit card eaten in an ATM machine in the Barcelona airport.

i feel so happy because ive built some good friendships this summer. i did alot of really cool things that i could brag about all day. im sad its over. schools comically boring so far. its been one week. im happy to get back into routine but angry about all the free time ive lost, plus the starter in my car broke. hows a girl supposed to get to school? we took a nice/poorly planned beach trip last weekend. we ended up sleeping in van, then finishing our rest on the beach for a good 7 hours. my back is killing me and i think i gained 6lbs but i had a great time.
im really living on the edge right now. i havent purchased any books, or a parking permit. ive been sneaking through my classes and hiding my borrowed car. i am a wild woman.
im back to my old self. watching 90s movies with john. not sleeping. stealing music. and makings lists.

things i need to do:
1. get credit
2. give brent about $350
3. move in with abbey
4. convince my mom im not a lesbian
5. buckle down
6. make a few doctors visits before i get dropped from insurance
7. get rid of my dingle berry of a car

i am accomplished.

I feel like these last 2 weeks have really been summer. finally lived the great ocean city dream of pool hopping on the boardwalk. booked a flight to spain, flew a glider above perkasie, completed my summer job, ive just been having an exceptionally good time with my friends.

im making things happen and im proud of it. im getting ready to embark on my next adventure to spain with brent. im really excited to gain some experience in my life. this glider was the first aircraft ive ever been on, so im stoked to spend 11 hours on a plane. my dad thinks i'll get cavity searched and my mom thinks i will be stolen/raped. heres to hoping this isnt a "told ya so" situation.

Newer goals:

1. start going to the movies alone.

2. hot air balloon.

3. master sign language

4. invent something

5. sign up for a game show/ get on a game show

6.find apartment

7. plan a trip to norway or alaska for winter break

8. finish project before october

9. vespa

10. get alot of money.

everyone thinks their lives are romantic comedies. i wouldnt watch any of them.

Ive been out of my teen years for nearly a week now. all i gotta say is, if one more person tells me this will be the longest year of my life, heads are going to roll. the only reason i look forward to 21 is the better opportunities to gain a massive gambling problem.

im running out of summer to figure things out.

i find it funny

the things we invent to get mad at each other about. stop thinking so much and pick your battles.

if i could give one universal piece of advice to all. it would be that. see the big picture and stop bitching so much and sabotaging your relationships over a petty personal problem.


likes:
practicing stone skipping
the sound peppermint patties make when you tear them
waking up to thunderstorms
moon shoes

dislikes:
the feel of velvet
nicknames
loud eaters
health food snobs

can i just say

i am so ridiculously happy to be done school.
im worried about money. who isn't?
i have a new puppy named wilson
im enjoying being with my friends a lot.
i will be twenty next month and that sucks.
i think everyone is crazy but me.

my top movies right now. in no particular order...

1. beautiful girls
2. this is england
3. big fish
4. wonder boys
5. amelie
6. one flew over the cuckoos nest
7. the dangerous lives of alter boys
8. kill bill (vol 1)
9. rocket science
10. angus

these are the movies on my mind right now. i was originally going to make my top 10 favorites of all time but that was too hard. watch these ones. i might be the only person in PA with angus.

i am a really goofy chick. whoops.


about a half hour ago i got pulled over for "swerving over lines". i think they thought i was drunk because the cop called for back up. i really wasn't doing anything at all, they were just bored. stupid perkasie. 1:30 on a Wednesday night, i guess i get it. anyway i just got a verbal warning and the cop was super nice to me. i got 60 dollars worth of parking tickets in a week too, i should be more careful.

my friend john thinks my blog isnt complex enough, truthfully i only have one cause i really like making lists and organizing my thoughts, even though im not very deep. so on that note...

Things making me happy
this super renegade pair of sunglasses i found
i'm realizing how self aware i am
my new coconut lime candle
i lost my ipod and someone returned it to me, so humanity.
Utorrents
no hard feelings (with a small exception)
i re-own wet hot american summer
25 dollar wawa gift card

I can't wait for summer.

College is so dumb. I'm still working on a get-rich-quick scheme. I finally had one, my plan backfired once my car decided to break. If I could win the lottery or win an amazing lawsuit, I would just drop out and do about a million fun odd jobs that I can quit any time I want and didn't have to waste my time and money in college. I really like what I'm doing with myself now. Recaping on my adventures so far this year has made me really content with how I live. Life would be so awesome if it weren't for school and work getting in the way.

Goals for summer:
stay awake for 3 days
drink more water
save up alot of money just in case
decide on a new major
purchase and ride red bicycle
make it to 20
camp all the time
avoid skin cancer

Ps. that picture is me and rebecca sleeping at lake nockamixon after staying up all night for brents triathlon. summer rules

i need to be smarter. i wish i could jump to 10 years from now so i can know what decisions i need to be making today. i have been happy and content for so long and i feel like im crashing. i knew this would happen.schools broken my spirit and i feel extremely confused. i really need to stop being such a stupid girl. i should probably stay away from boys until the end of time. i should actually let myself have feelings for someone or just become a lesbian. (elisa<3). im tired of basing my day around driving 45 minutes to a school full of people that make me uncomfortable. i hate that being generous is a punishment. i cant sort out my head. too much going on. i cant make everyone happy. i cant possibly make myself "okay" with everyone before its too late. i dont like bitching this much but the last 24 hours has been pretty fucked up.

hapie hollydays

Winter has the most high pressured holidays. I am 60 dollars in debt with a car inspection on Monday. Its pretty nail bitting if your car has been making weird noises and is a geo prism.

Something I can appreciate most about this time of year is that my time is well spent along with all my money.

December was a long, weird, action packed month. Christmas was very nice. My mom and I found some "tight" sweaters to wear for the annual nash christmas eve bash. And no thats not the official name for it, I'm just that lame.
Once again, it'll be nice to have my life back.

I think I figured out why I'm always so bothered with everything. I'm not very mature, but I think I am more mature and level headed than a lot of people who used to be adults to me. If this is true than mankind is doomed. I'm at the age of purgatory. By the time you reach 19 you're just not excited anymore. I am over all my "new" priviledges at 18. I don't care for drinking. The entire bar scene I think is the most depressing lifestyle I have ever seen. The only thing worse than spending every night at the same bar, is being the person hearing the great tales of every god damn night at the same god damn bars. I don't look forward to 21.The only thing I have to look forward to is nothing but the possibility that something good and exciting could always happen.

thanksgivin'

my favorite holiday. more important to me than any birthday or christmas. no one understands why i love it so much. its because i am 19 years old, i have no pressure on this holiday. i am not obligated to buy a turkey or prepare dinner for my entire extended family. all i have to do is wake up in a good mood and eat.i love my family, i love mashed potatoes, i love gratuity, its perfect for me. i never had a shitty thanksgiving. this last one couldve been better but it was out of my hands. next year.

i dont think i ever want to go to class again. i want to spend the rest of my life traveling around and buying cool things. not expensive cool things, just weird little things. i figure if i can think of a crazy get rich quick scheme to help me fund that then i am doing it. i love what i do when im not at school. im either with my friends, doing odd jobs, or staying up listening to music and watching new movies

im finally sick. im the last person to get allergies this season. figures. mine came from brians barn show on friday. id say it was worth the eyes watering and the sinus irritation. i dont mind not sleeping the past few days if it meant that i was up having fun, which i was. so its whatever.

this picture i have displayed in this blog is me drawn as half terminator. my little brother made it, its the greatest thing i have ever received.

im having a weird week. its only wednesday..well thursday now.

im sitting here watching The Warriors (ballin!) recaping my week so far. on monday i got into a really uncomfortable situation with the asian mafia that roams around my school that seems to grow bigger every day. tuesday while driving on 202 from school when i saw an unconscious man in his car on the side of the road. i turned around to make sure he was ok. with my luck he turns out to be a very very intoxicated old man who slammed into a telephone pole. i asked him to get out of his car, he refused. so i memorized his liscense plate and before i knew it was giving my first suspect description...all i wanted was some taco bell. today i got to be on the cbs weather report. you can see me jumping up and down, i was really excited to be on probably the least watched news station.

i finally lived the great american dream: creating an adult sized crib. ever since me and kerri both got matching day beds 3 years ago, its all ive ever wanted. and no, its not something kinky sex thing. its just awesome for hanging out.

i cant wait to see how the rest of my week goes.

with all this phillies chaos, election bullshit, halloween frenzies put behind me; i feel like i can finally have my life back.i want to avoid crowds and lines for awhile. as much as i just love accidently being in a happy riot everywhere i go, i think enoughs enough.

finally figured out a life goal. im so happy about it. im so happy about a lot of things right now. i got into my parents old record collections. i found the clockwork orange soundtrack in there, ive been playing in. i feel badass as shit listening to that, its essentially just classical music with some tracks that are sort of trippy.not really badass at all. there was a song stuck in my head for a good year and i couldnt ever find the artist. i finally found it this week. accomplishment feels good.

i spent the entire day with my mom on sunday. we're working on a little project together. we went to all our old neighborhoods varying from philly, ambler, jenkintown, glenside, warrington, fountainville, and doylestown at one point. we took some photos with my moms camera. we played pooh sticks together, the winnie the pooh racing game, just like when i was little on the same bridge. it was cute. i love quality time.

i miss my best friend. every every every day

i need to grow a backbone.

im so mad at myself.

insomnia

its so cold out. it makes me so happy except my room is always colder than it is outside. which makes it hard for me to stay asleep. i also cant sleep because everyone likes to text me every morning before my alarm goes off, and wakes me up (if im actually asleep in the first place). and finally, i cant stay asleep because of the caffeine i have to drink to make up for not being able to sleep.

halloweens coming up soon. the one night of a year you can look like the biggest asshole alive and its ok. its funny how holidays are created to make certain behaviors acceptable for a night. like going door to door and making strangers give you treats. disregarding everything your parents ever taught you.encouraging your children to sit on a fat mans lap and tell him what you want from his sack. pretending a pastel crazed bunny is sneaking into your house and leaving you presents (and not shit). im pretty sure saint patricks day has no purpose. we've lost site about what these holidays are about, but if we were aware of what its all about. then we wouldnt be celebrating. which is why i love thanksgiving, theres nothing wrong with being appreciative. aside from the genocide of the indians.

ever notice...
every time ive ever been in a public bathroom, theres always a mom in there with like 4 kids. i dont mind, i understand shes busy and clearly overwhelmed. but i just dont think there is anything more uncomfortable than hearing a woman in the stall next to you say, "mommys going tinkles".

how do we get ourselves into these things?

the other day i was giving blood. wasnt my first time. wasnt nervous. the volunteer, nikkhea, while checking up on me tells me shes afraid of needles. i asked her if she was uncomfortable with her job and she said no. i cant make sense of that.
later that night while trying to sleep (around 1 am.) i heard a rushing water sound. so naturally, i assumed rain. it sounded like a monsoon so i figured it cant be. i looked out my window only to see the fire hydrant across the street pouring water everywhere. i cant make sense of that either.

alot of people came home for the weekend. it was really fun i got to see abbey, cheryl, and shea.while taking abbey back to the train station saturday morning we accidently went to a parade. it was silly. im very content with the way this weekend was.


i bought turbonegro- never is forever for 50 cents. i rule!

pet peeves

1. cropped all over patterned hoodies with short sleeves.- these "hoodies" are eyesores and theyre extremely impractical. if youre going to wear a sweatshirt...wear a sweatshirt.


2. yellow hummers- as if people didnt notice your car takes up two lanes, you make it yellow just in case someone didnt happen to catch how cool you are.


3. meatloaf-you're a culinary abortion.


4.politics as a trend- spending 30 dollars for an urban outfitters tshirt that says "obama for yo mama" doesnt make you political. asshole.


5. animae- ...that shit is so weird.

6. men who wear crocs- i dont think theres anything more square in the world than crocs, which are just gardening shoes on steroids. when i see a guy in crocs i just assume that he is a pedophile. i dont know why.


7. marissa tomei.


8. birthday countdowns- i just dont know what people expect me to say when they tell give me the status of their birthdays. congratulations, you were born just like every other person alive.


9. people who are still scene-for those of you who still think dying your hair black with that unisex cut that hides your whole face/ not eating and wearing skin tight clothing for your "artistic" photo shoots is still cool. its not. i cant tell what gender you are. you look like a vampire. your parents definitely think you are gay. you all will be very embarrassed one day.


10. borat impressions- possibly lamer than the austin powers impressions. borat isnt funny to begin with. if you have to depend on that shitty character to get a cheap laugh out of everyone, then you probably suck.

"im lookin' for my missin' piece!"

i love when my weekends turn out to be more eventful than i anticipated.

i only spent an hour saturday making complete strangers days. im getting good at my job, it feels good. except im still not making any money and i am infact 9 dollars in debt. could be worse.

spent the rest of day saturday traveling with my all in a year friends around the stroudsburg/kingston area. having fun.

i finally got to see kerri on sunday. i missed her so much, its such a weird feeling because ive never been without her. shes like my little wedge that makes me whole like in that shel silverstein story.sunday morning i did my weekly visit to elisa at the bp after i packed kerri some things. after elisa was done working we scored some free pizza and headed to west chester.had probably the most pleasant day ive had in weeks. exactly what i wanted.

today i took a bike ride with andy around parts of bedminster i didnt really know. with all the farms and fields it reminds me of europe. i like where i live better now.i feel more encouraged to travel and explore. while flying down this boss hill a bug went directly into my eye. parts of it are still there and it hurts like a bitch. john came over for our weekly 90s movie. tonight it was clerks. everytime i watch that movie i still get surprised about how deep most of the lines are.

the leaves are changing. i am happy.