hapie hollydays

Winter has the most high pressured holidays. I am 60 dollars in debt with a car inspection on Monday. Its pretty nail bitting if your car has been making weird noises and is a geo prism.

Something I can appreciate most about this time of year is that my time is well spent along with all my money.

December was a long, weird, action packed month. Christmas was very nice. My mom and I found some "tight" sweaters to wear for the annual nash christmas eve bash. And no thats not the official name for it, I'm just that lame.
Once again, it'll be nice to have my life back.

I think I figured out why I'm always so bothered with everything. I'm not very mature, but I think I am more mature and level headed than a lot of people who used to be adults to me. If this is true than mankind is doomed. I'm at the age of purgatory. By the time you reach 19 you're just not excited anymore. I am over all my "new" priviledges at 18. I don't care for drinking. The entire bar scene I think is the most depressing lifestyle I have ever seen. The only thing worse than spending every night at the same bar, is being the person hearing the great tales of every god damn night at the same god damn bars. I don't look forward to 21.The only thing I have to look forward to is nothing but the possibility that something good and exciting could always happen.

thanksgivin'

my favorite holiday. more important to me than any birthday or christmas. no one understands why i love it so much. its because i am 19 years old, i have no pressure on this holiday. i am not obligated to buy a turkey or prepare dinner for my entire extended family. all i have to do is wake up in a good mood and eat.i love my family, i love mashed potatoes, i love gratuity, its perfect for me. i never had a shitty thanksgiving. this last one couldve been better but it was out of my hands. next year.

i dont think i ever want to go to class again. i want to spend the rest of my life traveling around and buying cool things. not expensive cool things, just weird little things. i figure if i can think of a crazy get rich quick scheme to help me fund that then i am doing it. i love what i do when im not at school. im either with my friends, doing odd jobs, or staying up listening to music and watching new movies

im finally sick. im the last person to get allergies this season. figures. mine came from brians barn show on friday. id say it was worth the eyes watering and the sinus irritation. i dont mind not sleeping the past few days if it meant that i was up having fun, which i was. so its whatever.

this picture i have displayed in this blog is me drawn as half terminator. my little brother made it, its the greatest thing i have ever received.

im having a weird week. its only wednesday..well thursday now.

im sitting here watching The Warriors (ballin!) recaping my week so far. on monday i got into a really uncomfortable situation with the asian mafia that roams around my school that seems to grow bigger every day. tuesday while driving on 202 from school when i saw an unconscious man in his car on the side of the road. i turned around to make sure he was ok. with my luck he turns out to be a very very intoxicated old man who slammed into a telephone pole. i asked him to get out of his car, he refused. so i memorized his liscense plate and before i knew it was giving my first suspect description...all i wanted was some taco bell. today i got to be on the cbs weather report. you can see me jumping up and down, i was really excited to be on probably the least watched news station.

i finally lived the great american dream: creating an adult sized crib. ever since me and kerri both got matching day beds 3 years ago, its all ive ever wanted. and no, its not something kinky sex thing. its just awesome for hanging out.

i cant wait to see how the rest of my week goes.

with all this phillies chaos, election bullshit, halloween frenzies put behind me; i feel like i can finally have my life back.i want to avoid crowds and lines for awhile. as much as i just love accidently being in a happy riot everywhere i go, i think enoughs enough.

finally figured out a life goal. im so happy about it. im so happy about a lot of things right now. i got into my parents old record collections. i found the clockwork orange soundtrack in there, ive been playing in. i feel badass as shit listening to that, its essentially just classical music with some tracks that are sort of trippy.not really badass at all. there was a song stuck in my head for a good year and i couldnt ever find the artist. i finally found it this week. accomplishment feels good.

i spent the entire day with my mom on sunday. we're working on a little project together. we went to all our old neighborhoods varying from philly, ambler, jenkintown, glenside, warrington, fountainville, and doylestown at one point. we took some photos with my moms camera. we played pooh sticks together, the winnie the pooh racing game, just like when i was little on the same bridge. it was cute. i love quality time.

i miss my best friend. every every every day

i need to grow a backbone.

im so mad at myself.

insomnia

its so cold out. it makes me so happy except my room is always colder than it is outside. which makes it hard for me to stay asleep. i also cant sleep because everyone likes to text me every morning before my alarm goes off, and wakes me up (if im actually asleep in the first place). and finally, i cant stay asleep because of the caffeine i have to drink to make up for not being able to sleep.

halloweens coming up soon. the one night of a year you can look like the biggest asshole alive and its ok. its funny how holidays are created to make certain behaviors acceptable for a night. like going door to door and making strangers give you treats. disregarding everything your parents ever taught you.encouraging your children to sit on a fat mans lap and tell him what you want from his sack. pretending a pastel crazed bunny is sneaking into your house and leaving you presents (and not shit). im pretty sure saint patricks day has no purpose. we've lost site about what these holidays are about, but if we were aware of what its all about. then we wouldnt be celebrating. which is why i love thanksgiving, theres nothing wrong with being appreciative. aside from the genocide of the indians.

ever notice...
every time ive ever been in a public bathroom, theres always a mom in there with like 4 kids. i dont mind, i understand shes busy and clearly overwhelmed. but i just dont think there is anything more uncomfortable than hearing a woman in the stall next to you say, "mommys going tinkles".

how do we get ourselves into these things?

the other day i was giving blood. wasnt my first time. wasnt nervous. the volunteer, nikkhea, while checking up on me tells me shes afraid of needles. i asked her if she was uncomfortable with her job and she said no. i cant make sense of that.
later that night while trying to sleep (around 1 am.) i heard a rushing water sound. so naturally, i assumed rain. it sounded like a monsoon so i figured it cant be. i looked out my window only to see the fire hydrant across the street pouring water everywhere. i cant make sense of that either.

alot of people came home for the weekend. it was really fun i got to see abbey, cheryl, and shea.while taking abbey back to the train station saturday morning we accidently went to a parade. it was silly. im very content with the way this weekend was.


i bought turbonegro- never is forever for 50 cents. i rule!

pet peeves

1. cropped all over patterned hoodies with short sleeves.- these "hoodies" are eyesores and theyre extremely impractical. if youre going to wear a sweatshirt...wear a sweatshirt.


2. yellow hummers- as if people didnt notice your car takes up two lanes, you make it yellow just in case someone didnt happen to catch how cool you are.


3. meatloaf-you're a culinary abortion.


4.politics as a trend- spending 30 dollars for an urban outfitters tshirt that says "obama for yo mama" doesnt make you political. asshole.


5. animae- ...that shit is so weird.

6. men who wear crocs- i dont think theres anything more square in the world than crocs, which are just gardening shoes on steroids. when i see a guy in crocs i just assume that he is a pedophile. i dont know why.


7. marissa tomei.


8. birthday countdowns- i just dont know what people expect me to say when they tell give me the status of their birthdays. congratulations, you were born just like every other person alive.


9. people who are still scene-for those of you who still think dying your hair black with that unisex cut that hides your whole face/ not eating and wearing skin tight clothing for your "artistic" photo shoots is still cool. its not. i cant tell what gender you are. you look like a vampire. your parents definitely think you are gay. you all will be very embarrassed one day.


10. borat impressions- possibly lamer than the austin powers impressions. borat isnt funny to begin with. if you have to depend on that shitty character to get a cheap laugh out of everyone, then you probably suck.

"im lookin' for my missin' piece!"

i love when my weekends turn out to be more eventful than i anticipated.

i only spent an hour saturday making complete strangers days. im getting good at my job, it feels good. except im still not making any money and i am infact 9 dollars in debt. could be worse.

spent the rest of day saturday traveling with my all in a year friends around the stroudsburg/kingston area. having fun.

i finally got to see kerri on sunday. i missed her so much, its such a weird feeling because ive never been without her. shes like my little wedge that makes me whole like in that shel silverstein story.sunday morning i did my weekly visit to elisa at the bp after i packed kerri some things. after elisa was done working we scored some free pizza and headed to west chester.had probably the most pleasant day ive had in weeks. exactly what i wanted.

today i took a bike ride with andy around parts of bedminster i didnt really know. with all the farms and fields it reminds me of europe. i like where i live better now.i feel more encouraged to travel and explore. while flying down this boss hill a bug went directly into my eye. parts of it are still there and it hurts like a bitch. john came over for our weekly 90s movie. tonight it was clerks. everytime i watch that movie i still get surprised about how deep most of the lines are.

the leaves are changing. i am happy.

i want to make me proud

i saw my kindergarten teacher for the first time in about 10 years today.

she immediately knew who i was and i got to talk to her a lot. she asked me if i still love to draw, i lied and said yes and she told me "you just had such a different eye" and continued telling me how talented of a kid i was. and then i remembered how much i loved art and animals and how sure everyone was that id be that way forever. i dont think 5 year old leigh would be too happy with 19 year old leigh.

septembers half way over and i think everyone can agree that this has been one shit storm of a month. everything that could go wrong did. a lot of people got hurt, everyones been stressed. i have high hopes that october will bring everyone some peace of mind. everyone tends to get happier in sweater weather.

if the world ends tomorrow

today i was informed that the world could end tomorrow...or today because its past midnight. shit.the atom-smasher. built to discover the god particle. tricky thing is with this machine is that it could potentially form black holes powerful enough to destroy the earth. so the only way we can find how we were created is risking the end of time. its pretty ironic. i dont think the worlds gonna end, but i dont think i want to know how matter was created enough to sacrifice my life.

if the world was to end tomorrow i dont know how id feel about my life. ive never even been on a plane before. im not afriad of dying but id like a say in the matter.

i need a new atmosphere.

"to be honest with you"

lately every person i talk to uses this phrase. "to be honest with you" drives me crazy and heres why: using it too much suggests that everything else you say is a lie. some people say it so much its like a tick to them. its almost as bad as when people say "not gonna lie", the thing about that phrase is that jock-girls tend to say it the most its crazy.

im naturally feeling shitty lately but its just a normal phase that comes with the first week of school. im less concerned about the girls giving me shit looks in class and more concerned about financial aid and shit i should know how to take care of by now. everyones in a funk lately, its a depressing time. everyone i talk to seems to have a pretty legit excuse for being miserable, which make the people without excuses worse.

these bad moods can be cured.